I would like to express a deep gratitude towards my life as I developed a different attitude by using some tools for anxiety. I discovered them at different stages of my recovery and they were useful on the road to getting well in the last 20 years of my life. The first one was a face-to-face communication with psychotherapists. I developed a lot of hope in these contacts through my thirties and my forties. These people were a sounding board for my anxious mind. They showed me the way to write in a constructive way. Filling charts to keep track of how to decrease my anxiety level, how to question my fears, changing scenarios about “not being able of” to “being responsible of”, and “taking control” of my life. When I was loosing control I was reaching for these tools over and over again.
A different attitude gave me a chance to challenge myself even more. I started coping better with new situations and I could see my pattern of anxiety coming back before I was overwhelmed with my fears. Before coming close to a dead end, I would question if my fears were real or were created in my mind. The hyperventilation and chest pains were real symptoms of my anxiety but my perceptions of these fears were a sign of over sensitivity compared to what happened in the reality.
Now I am traveling on a road that is much smoother. I learned through all these years that the one and only competition is with me. Tracking distorted thoughts, having realistic expectations and fine tuning my coping mechanisms with fitness activities and discussions groups. In one word it is by giving more help to me. This main aspect is never achieved but is always a process in my recovery. I always check that I re-involve my energy in daily life instead of withdrawing in my fears.
In a nutshell I suggest to anyone that is fighting with a mental illness to give themselves the chance to be in charge. This is the major task I have to accomplish each day and even if some days, it feels like taking 1 step forward and 2 steps back, the dignity is achieved because I tried this one step forward. I appreciate this (sometimes) only one situation in a day that will give me this extra self confidence and the rest of the day can be relatively acceptable even with setbacks. What is happening to you now can be the masterpiece of your life. Your road and my road are full of recoveries.

Sylvie Albert