SINCE MY EARLY FORTIES

My recovery is not just for myself and for my life-I also want to help create a better environment in which others can explore the meaning of mental illness in their own lives. Since I have more energy living a meaningful life I wish all patients would also have an opportunity to fulfill their goal. Society has a more important role to play on acknowledging patients’ roles in all spheres of activities as full time citizens and should encourage them.

When I realized that the person in charge (the seeking mind in me) was able to take more decisions than I thought, I noticed that well being became concrete and not just another unattainable goal. Nevertheless there is no magic because I do have to make deals with myself; to be in charge of my failures and not making others responsible for them. It helps me to focus on improving my life conditions. The payoff is that people tell me I adapt, that I am more flexible. It is the same goal that they have with so called normal life.

However, my achievements are never a done deal because I continuously need to fine tune my attitude toward my life as if it was a precious gem. What I mean is that there is no guarantee that I will regain my full potential but the goal is to be part of the adventure as an actor, not a spectator. I don’t want to put a mask and pretend I have recovered 100% of my mental health and there is a cure out there. Any road I take will be a bumpy road and this is the blessing; I am resilient enough to navigate on this road and I will find ways to accept the bumps and welcome challenges.
(Part 3 to be continued next week...)

Sylvie Albert