Now, I experience my sensitivity more meaningfully. I trust myself more and I find it easier to involve myself in activities. The shadow of anxiety still follows me, but it is not as overwhelming as before. I decided to look for help and get well.

I believe accepting the patterns of my anxiety do pave the way to be more in control of my life. These patterns are always within a context or environment that will trigger more anxiety and I have to adjust my behavior in these situations. For example: when there is more work at my job I will have to rest more the night before and make sure I eat properly. It sounds basic, but the aim is to calm down and picture what is going to happen when the stress becomes unbearable. I need to face it instead of drowning with the stress. I call this strategy my prevention rules and regulations. This attitude consists mainly of being more aware of what is happening to me.

I practice mindfulness and create this calmness when I do my meditation. This is my daily rule in maintaining my mental health. It has proved to be very useful when my environment is full of tension and misunderstandings take place. This allows me to keep my determination in staying in control in difficult situations.

It took me many years to adapt to my patterns of anxiety because sometimes it reminds me that my life is not always going smooth and that I have to try even harder. Also, it brings me back to anxious relationships in my family. There are some problems of anxiety amongst my siblings and my parents were also prone to anxiety. There was never any discussion on this topic and I kept my problems to myself. In my environment in the 1970’s, there were no opportunities to discuss anything about mental health. I was sent for therapy in my teenage years and in my twenties. I had to make sense of my story only through my therapists.

Sylvie Albert, April 2009