For me, this is an easy answer - of course I would. If I didn't say that, I would be quite the hypocrite! On my second date with my now wife, I decided not to wait to tell her about my bipolar disorder. In my mind, it was either going to be a limitation for her or not, and I thought it best for both of us to know that right away. Lucky for me, she simply asked many smart questions, did her own research, and decided that it wasn't going to stop her in pursuing a relationship with me.

Had the tables been turned, whether I had an illness or not, I would have reacted the same way as her. I would have asked lots of questions and researched the topic, in order to gain a real understanding of the illness, the side effects of the medications, how well it was all being managed, etc. My choices from that point on, as with her choice, would be governed far more by how it was all being handled than by fear of the illness itself.

I should say this, however: if she had ultimately decided that it was too scary for her that I may have a full relapse, or worse, I would have understood and felt no ill will towards her. In fact, I would have appreciated her honesty with both herself and me if that was how she felt. Living with someone who suffers from ANY chronic illness - be it back pain, bipolar disorder, diabetes or migraines - is not easy. Not everyone can handle such a reality when it lands in their lap, and not everyone can or should choose it knowingly.

Again, it all comes down to open communication and decisions based on understanding and awareness.

Be well,
Jason Finucan