I do not want to seem self-righteous, but the truth is that I don't believe I have ever used my illness as an excuse. The opposite was true for a long time: I tried way too hard for too long to work through what was later understood to be full-bore clinical depression, hypo-mania and mania. I wish I could have stopped myself then and accepted my illness so that I could get the help needed. I am this way for the simple reason that I grew up under a father who believed in the power of what we can do vs. what we can't; he didn't allow excuses of any kind - only reasons. Also, I grew up with a major heart defect that ultimately required open heart surgery when I was 13. These were formative experiences that focused my attention on what I was lucky to have, and to be able to do, rather than what I couldn't do and why.

Again, I am certainly not trying to suggest that this is a better way or the only way to be. We all have our reasons for why we approach life, or a certain challenge, in the way we do. What I would like to suggest, though, is that it can be dangerous to use your illness as an excuse or fall into the trap of self-fulfilling prophecies with respect to stigmas, misunderstandings and taboos. Doing so may stall you in your recovery efforts and, worse yet; you may lose the confidence of your family, friends and co-workers. Once you lose that confidence, it can be very hard to get it back, even if you really need and deserve it. However, if you try to avoid using your illness as an excuse, then the people in your life will believe you when you say "I can't" or "I can't right now".

Sometimes, stopping and resting can be the most important thing you can do to maintain your control over your illness. You need the support of others in that simple act as much as in anything else. In the end, it all comes down to knowing your illness inside and out, and being honest with yourself.

Be well,
Jason Finucan